Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
