Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
