I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
