im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
