Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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