If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
