i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
