Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
