I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
