just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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