last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
