Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
