Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
