I heard we made out
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
