I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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