It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
