Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
NoShamevember. You game?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
