i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize