i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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