with your own penis?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Drunk is not a location!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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