I hope mine doesn't look like that
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
