in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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