.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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