ya dads aren't the best wingmen
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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