i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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