I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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