am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
