Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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