I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
