I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
All the doctor said was why
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
