So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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