If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
