After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
