that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize