$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
