No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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