Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
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I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
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I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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