you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
