I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
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