the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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