you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
