my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
