i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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