My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize