The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
