you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize