their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i think my tv is drunk
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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