That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
