he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
