I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize