So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
