3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
