I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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