just come out here and I will go home with you...
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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