Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
