I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
