i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
