Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Randomize
