At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize