dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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