I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
