Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
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did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
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I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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