Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
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I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I AM VODKA MAN
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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