yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I want her autograph on my taint
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
