You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
im holly from the hills drunk
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
